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38. 100°C

Tuesday, June 17
1:59 AM ♥

That's the temperature outside.
& very possibly the boiling point of my blood for the past few days.

The inside of my cheeks are sore from chewing on them. That's for holding back my anger.

I want a shirt that says, "GO AWAY." & "DON'T TOUCH ME." I dread going to work now because I have to see a very disgusting 'man-pig' who has nasty (those knock-the-wind-out-of-you kinda) body odour. Buster, the next time you hit my boob (or any part of me for the matter) 'accidently', I'm gonna slice off your balls with a blunt knife, blend it and then spread it on your toast like bread and butter. Yummy mummy. But seriously, you smell so woofuckinghoo bad, I wouldn't go near you with a ten foot pole. You and I both know I detest you, so keep it that way and keep out of my way.

How nice it would be if people's hearts came with peepholes. I'll stick a tube through it and pour acid in.

-

This holiday,
weekdays are reserved for work and Visual Diary. With an exception of certain dates like this coming wednesday. Weekend mornings used to be reserved for work too but I've decided to reward myself with the company of lovely people I promised to meet and, more rest days.

First session of Visual Diary went well and Ash showed us a couple of videos after the session. Made me laugh so hard but it's still second to last night in bed! We (Nic & I) were practically snorting under our comforter. It was good but tiring, laughing so hard at 4:00 am.

I just bathed Tiny baby and I think we're keeping him! :D He's so used to sleeping on our bed, I doubt he'll have it any other way. I really, really hope we can keep him. I would even trade shopping for him, seriously. Cuddlebums! He's waiting for me to sleep!

So anyway, enjoy, cos this is all you're getting from me. I won't be replying texts nor returning calls; simply because I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. Can't promise when this spell will past so till then, gbye.

01. "BUHLUD"


02. FIRE 'TRUCK'


03. Happy-Mad, just like me.


04. Once Bitten, Not Enough

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31. During work today

Saturday, April 12
12:11 AM ♥

we idled away the remaining hours of my shift by having my Nepali colleague translate our names and common surnames in Nepalese and this is what we derived:

Note: Spelling may defer from the actual word, we translated based on phonics (:

Lee = Take it!
Lim = Can I take it?
Teo = That
Chia = Tea
Low = To express shock. Equivalent to our "Ah!?"

Bellina Kho/Koh Qian Lin

Koh = Lost
Lin = Gender

Add them both and you get?

Lost gender.

I wonder if my parents have any idea.

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On a different note, my entire school vacation is wasted. Squandered. Pointless. I have done nothing more than work my ass off in order to save up for school fees and well, yes, in between getting my next paycheck I actually donated my hard earned shekels to the 'Test My Horizontal Limit' fund. Now my holiday is coming to an end and soon I will be drowned in a pool of assignments. So I figured changing the layout of my blog will help towards making me feel like I did something useful since it has been on to-do list for the last few decades...and looks like it will have to stay on my to-do list till the end of next decade cos I'm being booted off the computer.

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20. At 9am I'll get my results.

Wednesday, October 3
12:14 AM ♥

At 9am, I'll get my results. Sorry I'm not funny.

Wow. Has it really been 37 days since I last wrote anything? Guess not much is going on - and that can be a good thing.

A rundown of what I've been up to.

Since the holidays started, I've been clocking hours at work. I am sad to report, at $6 per hour, on an average of 9 hours a day, 6 days per week, I'm still not cut out to be the next Bill Gates. Not considering the amount of bills stuck on the refrigerator door. And if you really bought the 'bills on the refrigerator door' poppycock, you don't know me well enough.

I'm well aware there are countless meet ups wayyy overdue. I'm sorry! I say, be patient. I promise I'm worth your wait. (: So anyway, I finally had 2 days of relative peace and quiet. I was finally (again) able to take care of the huge piles of odd, small projects that have been sitting on my mental 'to-do list' for months. Hence, my mind is noticeably free of clutter and I know things are finally (yet again) out of the in-box. It is quite a feeling of accomplishment.

I did quite a number of things during the last 48 hours so that's quite an achievement. I cleared up my sleep debts, watched dvds, caught tv re-runs, binged & put on weight (notice the lethal combination), changed the sheets, ironed my clothes (sad, the imitation of the 'leaning tower of Pisa' my clothes were constructing was going pretty well). Back to my list of 'accomplishments', I coughed my lungs out, fed the cat carnations, took photos, imitated the M1 IDD 'Mumbai la, India!' advert at least 5 times and....(dig this) BAKED. If you scroll down, I actually swore in my last entry never to bake again, or something along that line but hey hey hey, I SUCCEEDED this time round! And that, is said with the self-satisfaction of someone who had just met God on the street and been greeted by name. Woofreakinghoo!

I didn't think of documenting my success until every single bite was savoured so...to give you a gist of what I baked, this is it.

Molten Valrhona Chocolate cake.

(Tinypic ate up the cake)

Otherwise known as, Lava Cake. I don't have to explain why.

That, my friend, is orgasmic. You haven't lived if you haven't tried that. Mark my words, I don't lie. Liar. Okayy, honestly, not when it comes to food.

Oh and during the 37 days hiatus, I got highly and dangerously addicted to cough mixture that causes drowsiness and kit-kat. Someone, anyone, buy me kit-kat. And I also realized, I can never ever love a guy. I hate to sound SO lesbian, but that's what I am. I love girls. I don't know if I should rejoice at that statement or what.

That's it, the rundown.

On a sidenote, I find it so amusing that when I try to type 'kiss' on my phone (with predictive text function on), I get 'Lips'.

As of now, I don't really know what I'm doing, but I love it. And might I add, I love Nic too.

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12. The Day Before School Re-opens.

Sunday, July 8
5:11 PM ♥

Hello, wello, bello.
School starts tomorrow. I can't wait. (:

I woke up at 3pm feeling like I have a dead rat in my mouth and I actually typed 'dear' instead of 'dead'. I spent half the night having awful clichéd dreams about being chased by a deranged psychopath and generally pulling every muscle I have and getting a headache. Sleep is meant to be peaceful.

My luck was down to the pits the past week. Despite giving up seats to senior citizens and pointing out open flys, my bank of good karma is still not good enough to secure me a good spot in Lady Luck's book. I woke up an hour early for work twice (AHHH! Precious sleep!) and stepped on dog turd on my way home on the 5th. Then, I spilled half a bottle of nail polish remover on my crotch that very night. I could've started a bush fire, pun intended. Things started looking up on the morning of the 6th. I queued for donuts and met Lisa in the queue and spent 2½ hours catching up before we got our donuts. Mind you, 2½ is a relatively short wait compared to the 3 - 4½ hours wait I endured the past 3 times and at that, we're still talking about donuts.

Thereafter, we went to Cartel for lunch and a 'has-been' love rival had to serve me. Ha. I suspect she recognizes me, what with the dagger stares and bad service, but I can't be too sure. For the rest of the day, I spent more than I'm supposed to and I haven't paid rent and phonebill! And to ensure my good luck stays, I donated blood. In doing so, I saved the trees too cos I get letters of reminders to donate like what, every week? The blood bank is literally after my blood.

And yesterday was Margaret's wedding. T'was good, no formal sit-down dinner, just lots of booze, good food, good-looking people and even more sarong-party girls at Oosters. I'm saying that because that combination sounds good but I'm really, actually lying about the food.

Food. Nic bought me fresh prawns to cook with Tom Yum. I missed my lunch and looky, it's almost time for dinner. And and and...she bought me a Spongebob lanyard card holder and...document holder too! (?) What do you call those file like carriers with zip?

My stomach's rumbling, I'll leave you with this.

(Men are creative pigs.)

I remember how I cried when my friends teased me because I was the first to wear training bra in class. Now I think back, it's really funny and I shouldn't be the one crying.

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01. The Black-cat is clean

Saturday, April 7
3:30 AM ♥

I concluded the previous blog with this, "I intend to begin posting my thoughts again, elsewhere."

So it seems right to begin the new blog with this, "I intend to begin posting my thoughts again, here."

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Events, unrelated, and in chronological order:

Since I last updated, I made two trips out of Singapore: Batam first, then Genting a week later. I remember during the 3 months of hiatus from blogging I did quite a handful of activities and ate my fair share of good food. Bless me, for I have no recollection of the '5 Wives & 1 Husband'. (i.e. Who, Where, What, When, Why & How) It's as if I got abducted by aliens and remember nothing of the whole experience but the part about being sucked up into the mothership.

Let's see...

There's the trip back home. Being 'home' felt weird because 'home' is definitely the one place I don't feel at 'home'. My sisters were nice, Christine in particular, was extremely sweet. My brother..from the few glimpses I managed to get of him, well, he grew a head taller than me. My mom is still the bitch she has always been, and my dad still farts and snores but I love him still.

A week later, I remember driving up to Genting instead of taking the coach, and Nic pigging out on Baskin Robbins while I warmed up with hot chocolate in the freezing hotel room (because we left the windows open when we left) in almost nothing but my underwear.

There's my housing situation, where I live with six humans and seven cats. I have no complaints. Maybe just one; we need to get a bigger bed Nic, or one of us has to lose weight and it's not going to be me cos I can't give up food.

There's my job, which isn't in a flux. Thank God. Which I expect I'll be keeping even when I return to school because despite the occasional I-don't-want-to-work-anymore tantrums, I usually return to work because it pays the bills and school and keeps my stomach full.

There's school. There's no statements to be made yet since school starts only on the 16th. I'm doing Business Event Management in ITE Bishan just so everyone's informed. Don't worry, I wasn't insane when I chose ITE. It was a weighted decision with nobody's influence and at some point in time, I thought I was going to lose my mind. Whether I chose it because of results or financial difficulties, I hope to get your support instead of sympathy or disdain.

But I'll take whatever comes anyway, which explains the catchword/blog title, 'Inhale'. Inhale whatever it is, swallow my pride if I must, it's not fattening I was told. And exhale all the horrible thoughts. The next puff will be better and I won't keep losing control over my mind or my mind, for the matter. As cliche as it may sound, it works.

And today was a very nice day indeed. It was a day of Pretending I'm Holy because I got a colleague to take over my shift in the name of going to Church (which I quite obviously didn't). Even Nart went. I deserve to be stoned. And for making several futile attempts to shower and pop out to meet Nart (which I eventually didn't), I deserve to be stoned again.

My heart feels sick and my stomach feels queasy. That sentence would work the other way around, too.

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